Big ol' negative, that's what the test said yesterday morning and while I know I am disappointed I am at a loss by how unaffected I am feeling. Last cycle I could barely keep it together long enough to get back into our bedroom, crying hysterically over that stupid negative test. Granted last month was our first cycle trying since our miscarriage and there were a lot of emotions mixed in as well. This time I tried to avoid the forum once the other girls started talking about symptoms and testing, which kept me from over thinking potential symptoms that I was noticing as well, I kept charting (although started much later then usual as I normally start at CD 6 and this time started CD12) but my chart was starting to indicate that my period was coming so I tried not to get too optimistic even though Dyl was picking out out-of-the-ordinary, potential, symptoms. I still tested early, should have waited, I got excited at the idea of Dyl being right and once I started to think about it I thought maybe he was. He wasn't, but I think it is beyond adorable that this time around he seems more involved in this whole trying to conceive process - which previously I would keep to myself.
However, I am still a little disappointed that we aren't pregnant considering at this point my cycles are regular, I am healthier than ever and I can pinpoint ovulation easily. I guess I just feel like there isn't much more we can do to increase our chances but I have to try to remember that normal couples actively trying to conceive only have a 25% chance each month, and right now we have as good a chance as the typical couple.
So, my period showed up this morning and there are a few things that I noticed this cycle that have me raising an eyebrow - my chart indicates that I ovulated on CD15 and my period is early, which gave me a 29 day cycle. No problems there but my cycles are normally 31 days long with ovulation on CD17, like I said it wasn't a big deal just noteworthy. But, it's here and that is a huge relief that we have another month to hope for our baby.
xo, Anne.
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