26 Weeks

THIS WEEK
I am 26 weeks and I can't believe we are almost at the end of the second trimester! This week was an emotional one as baby girl's big brother would have been 5 years old on Tuesday, it is so difficult to know that her big brother won't be here with her and although I know when the day comes that our family is together again it will be beautiful, but in the meantime it is definitely hard to imagine how he would be and who he would be if he were here, his "birthday" also brought on a lot of thoughts on how we'll celebrate his birthday when his little sister is here with us. I also a lot of (extra) anxiety going into this week - it is completely irrational but like our other losses, passing these kinds of 'milestones' is a huge deal to be able to say I'm still pregnant. These added anxieties as we approached the day we lost our son probably helped fuel a visit to the hospital, I swear the L&D staff will know us by name by the time baby girl is born. On reflex I caught my 40lb nephew (from a very small fall that he would've been fine handling without me) and had an immediate change in my discharge, which I knew was probably normal but with the added anxieties of the anniversary of our son's loss and supporting 40lbs of weight (my limit during this pregnancy is currently under 10lbs) had me in a panic. I was scared something was wrong and that I had started leaking amniotic fluid. The entire medical team on was so reassuring that we did the right thing coming in, even if it was absolutely nothing, which is so nice to hear when I feel like I'm more than likely overreacting. They hooked us up to the monitors and ran an nst (non-stress test), warning that because baby girl is still small (in comparison to third trimester/full term baby's) they may not get a good read but that didn't mean anything was wrong. Although I was highly uncomfortable, it was so relaxing just to listen to her steady heartbeat and hear her kick against the monitor. When they came to discharge us, which everything was fine and I was not leaking amniotic fluid, the ob told us that as they reviewed the nst results they were all marveling at how good the results were for her size and how strong she already was - which was like the icing on a cake. This week has been exhausting and I am just feeling very grateful for our babies, for the mother our sweet baby boy made me and for this precious baby girl growing strong and healthy within me.

BABY UPDATE
From week 25-28 baby girl is approximately the size of a papaya, weighing between 1.5 lbs to 2.20 lbs and is anywhere from 13.3 inches to 14.5 inches long.

Baby girl`s little brain is going through a big period of growth this week, and over 50% of her energy will be used for this purpose. Her eyes are completely developed and her brain is now able to register various stimuli such as light and sounds. The lungs are developing air sacks (aveoli) and the membrane that allows for the exchange of carbon dioxide and oxygen is now thin enough to let her take a breath by the end of the week.

MOMMA UPDATE
A little more emotional this week with our son's "birthday" passing, but also very grateful and feeling blessed for this baby girl growing safe, strong and healthy within me. Still feeling very sore and achy, don't think that will go away but I'm okay with that as long as I'm able to identify the pain it doesn't make me worry compared to unexplained pains that make me terrified that something could be wrong. If I haven't mentioned before, I am so glad to have our home doppler (and the approval from our doctors/ob) being able to check on baby girl is a life saver and knowing that I am 10 minutes away from L&D if I need to is a blessing. Her movements are getting stronger and stronger, I even managed to catch her on video. I've been trying to do a little belly mapping to figure out where she is, although I know that she is likely to flip and move around plenty of times over these next few months - it is mostly for fun. No big cravings this week, although I was able to satisfy my donair craving when Dyl took me to a little shop and it was so good, still enjoying milk and hot chocolate. My wedding rings are officially starting to feel a bit snug, my engagement ring (the slightly tighter of the two) will probably be put away much sooner but I don't know how long I'll be able to wear my rings and I can't imagine how weird it is going to feel to not have my rings on.

Belly is measuring 43 inches.

DADDY MOMENTS
Absolutely love that Daddy is already saying goodbye in the mornings before work, and hello in the evenings after work, to his baby girl.

FAVORITE PART OF THE WEEK
Hearing that the medical team in L&D at our hospital were so impressed with our little girl's nst results.

LOOKING FORWARD TO
Our next ultrasound and being in the third trimester!

xo, Anne.