With the fresh wounds of a negative pregnancy test and no period in sight this year was nothing short of frustrating. Mother's Day is a beautiful day set aside to celebrate the Moms in our lives but for us (and I'm sure anyone struggling with loss/ttc) Mother's Day is just a big ugly reminder of what we don't have; our would-be-3year old son and the hopes of another pregnancy. I know loss makes people uncomfortable but it makes me so frustrated that barely anyone bothers to remember that we're parents too, that didn't change just because our baby went to heaven instead. I'm still a Mom.
I know I am so incredibly blessed that my family is always so good about it, never overwhelming but still including me, hugging me as we exchanged Happy Mother's Day to one another. My parents gave me a bouquet of beautiful pink flowers and I got a lovely card from my brother and his wifey. I don't think they realize that it means the world to me, it warms my heart and I hold onto those memories so tightly. I know there are so many out there that don't even get that much, I know I am so unbelievably blessed to have such a loving family.
We still celebrate the mothers in our lives and take the opportunity to shower them with love and appreciation - give me any day of the year and I adore letting people know how much I love & appreciate having them in our lives (I know I don't do it enough) it's just that it can be a little tough when the rest of the world seems to have forgotten that almost 4 years ago I was pregnant, that I fell in love with our unborn baby then never got to bring him home. Not to forget the years we've spent waiting, hoping, wishing that we could have a healthy and happy baby here with us. It's painful, it sucks.
So while it's a little bit late I wanted to wish everyone a Happy Mother's Day. Happy Mother's Day to all the many moms out there, the mommy's to-be, the grandmothers, the god mothers, the birth moms, the adoptive moms, foster moms and especially angel moms. Here's to us, all of us, while we face our own challenges we hold together a household. We are at the front line of the most difficult challenges, infertility and losses; we are the ones that bravely go forth into the valley of death to bring forth new life and I can't even begin to write all the many sacrifices each of us give to be mothers.
Here's to us, all of us, Happy (belated) Mother's Day - hope the day was lovely and peaceful. For those that didn't have that great of a day, you're far from alone and I hope so desperately that this is the last year any of us feel this way towards Mother's Day.
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