Cycle Update

So I sort of quit charting this cycle, while I like how much you can learn from charting and especially from your temps it is also kind of stressful for me. It usually lends to the monthly pregnancy suspicions, I obsess over the dates and compare them to when we did our part, then there is this whole other world of possible pregnancy symptoms. It just drives me insane sometimes, so after my temps got a little wonky around (suspected) ovulation I quit - which may not have been the best idea since my cycle is late now.

I took a test earlier in my cycle, it was negative but when my period didn't show up yesterday I started to over-analyze and it even had me up middle of the night thinking too much. So I pulled out that other test and still negative - boo. I know there are women that can be pregnant and not get a positive HPT but I've never had that before and my cycle has disappeared on me in the past so I am not holding my breath (hopefully it will stay that way though). I'm trying not to be too frustrated with it, trying not to stress myself out because it is still very early and maybe we are just going to be a little bit late - just hoping I don't have another 100+ day cycle because that is ridiculous.

I am a little excited at the possibility that my cycle is just moving weeks (it used to do that every so often, even when I was really regular) because my current cycle puts me at the beginning of the month for a potential due date but because of my history with the placental abruption I will more than likely deliver early and not in the birth month that the potential due date was in. Obviously that isn't a big deal but I kind of liked saying we're having a May baby because we were due mid May and even if we delivered early it would still be in May - I'll take our healthy baby whenever, due date doesn't matter it just makes me feel like something fun will come out of my cycle being late.

I'm just not sure how to feel about where things will go from here, as long as everything stays regular I don't need to attempt clomid. Clomid was an, if needed, option but if my period disappears for much longer it is going to be needed and I am not sure if I am really ready to feel like I need Clomid. But at the same time, I will be going back on the 100mg dose like last summer when I got pregnant with our last which makes me feel very hopeful that we will get pregnant again quickly and hopefully bring that baby home with us.

I am strangely not as emotional as I thought I would be - especially since this was the last cycle I could get pregnant before the May due date of our miscarriage but I am sure that will come too. I guess I am still sorting through my thoughts, hopefully everything will come together soon.

xo, Anne.