Since reaching the two year mark of trying to conceive (again!) we have been referred to a fertility specialist. I don't know why I felt so deflated when we reached the two year mark, we struggled for years to get and stay pregnant before our Lilly-love was born. But I guess when my cycles returned after she weaned I assumed they would just stay regular and for a year and a half they did, aside from one cycle that went awol when my Dad passed away in November 2015. But that was just one, we were back to regular predictable monthly cycles until my Mom passed away November 2016 and it has been a mess ever since (I suppose in some ways so have I as I have navigated messy grief again).
So we've been seeing the fertility specialist and it has been such an eye opener for me, I assumed after the investigations my obstetrician did in 2011 I would be left with "unexplained infertility" as we bumbled through fertility treatments again. But he looked over my history and scheduled us for all sorts of tests and investigative procedures, it felt like he wasn't just going to accept unexplained infertility without seeing it himself and I cannot appreciate that more.
Especially because we got answers.
Even if we hadn't it would have brought me some closure to know we looked everywhere to find a reason. But the fact that we found answers to why I have struggled to get and stay pregnant is incredible. I have cried so much in these last few weeks because even though it won't bring them back it means that all of these horrible things didn't happen because of "bad luck" or whatever, but because of a defect in my uterus and a disorder both of which wouldn't have been discovered when I was deemed "young and healthy".
I'll be back with more.
With love, Anne
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