I'm in surgery NOW!!

When this post goes live I will be in surgery, that's the interesting part - the surgery doesn't make me overly anxious. The surgery being so soon is just a bit strange for me to wrap my head around. I have spent 8 years being told that I had a bicornuate uterus that had no fixes, my infertility was unexplained, I had no answers for eight years and in this short time I am preparing for a surgery to fix the septum in my uterus that is actually the cause for my losses. It is just so surreal.

Because there is always the tiniest chance of complications from any surgery of course there is a mild worry, but I think what is really getting to me is that in 2015 my Dad went into a grueling 8 hour surgery at the same hospital, in the same surgical unit. My daughter was not even two and we played, colored, read books and went for walks while waiting with my Mom to hear news of my Dad's surgery. Now we're in 2018; my daughter is four years old, we're hoping for another little one to join our family and the reality of my fertility is completely different than what it was believed to be for so long. Although I have a supportive husband and our beautiful daughter it is really hard going into all of this without my parents - I know they're always with me, I know they're watching over all of us, but it isn't the same and it is hard not to feel a bit isolated in that.

As far as the actual surgery goes, I'm looking forward to being done? hahaha I just can't wait to be home with my Lilly-love, a cozy blanket and a yummy dinner.

Wish me luck xo
Anne